Is It Any Shock This Generation Hates Itself?

I recently had a conversation with a gorgeous friend of mine about being insecure and about various sorts of body shaming and how we’re becoming more confident in our bodies, it was actually very interesting. I’ve known this friend since I was sixteen and a lot skinnier than I am now; skinnier but more insecure – seems counterintuitive but I was painfully awkward and a weird teenager (she says as if she’s oh so wise at twenty). This conversation came about after my friend saw a photo of a celebrity being torn apart and bullied for looking like a real human. The photo seemed unedited and real, the celebrity in question still looked gorgeous and has a great figure but she looked real, not photoshopped beyond all recognition.

Is it actually any shock that our generation all struggle with our bodies when we’ve spent most of our formative teenage years watching celebrities torn apart for looking normal? We’d see these photos being bullied for being “too fat” or “too ugly” and think ‘but she’s skinnier than I am…’ and as a young teenager taking their first steps into the scary world of social media that forms quite a significant part of how we look at ourselves. While these comments on an Instagram post may trigger a rant about body positivity between our twenty-year-old selves, I guarantee if myself or my friend had seen the same thing four years ago when we first met it would have taken us into spirals of self-criticism. Your teenage years are hard anyway, kids are mean at that age, everyone is spotty and awkward, some of us had braces to add to the awkward equation, hormones are raging, and everyone is desperately trying to figure who they are, it’s a tough time. I wouldn’t relive that for any amount of money. But it’s made a hundred times worse seeing the unjustified criticism of those celebrities who we all think are ‘fitter’ or ‘prettier’ than ourselves. And it’s obvious that we’d think they’re ‘better’ than us – most of their photos are edited, they’re not awkward teens, they’re fully grown adults with professional stylists and makeup artists to make them look perfect 24/7. A celebrity looking healthy and real is ‘too fat and ugly’ to an internet troll and an impressionable teen can only internalise that hatred.

I recently looked back at photos of myself at sixteen, I was so skinny – I couldn’t have been any bigger than a UK size 10 maybe an 8, but I remember feeling huge, I genuinely thought I looked awful. I hated myself. I never ate breakfast, I’d regularly eat a bag of crisps and a banana for lunch (not at all healthy, I do NOT recommend), and weigh myself multiple times a week. All that while trying to study for GCSEs and struggling with the death of my wonderful Dad. It’s a lot for a sixteen-year-old to deal with and if time travel was possible, I’d go back to give my past self a hug and tell her that she’s gorgeous inside and out.

I don’t really have a resolution to this post, I just wanted to have a rant and share my thoughts, but the only thing I can think to do is clearly state if I’ve edited a photo (which I never do anyway – I don’t have those photoshop skills). I actually think there should be a law that anyone has to declare if a photo is edited, similar to how sponsored posts have to include a ‘#ad’. Plus, I’ve made a promise to myself that if I ever have children, I will never criticise my body in front of them, and I won’t talk about diets or losing weight when they’re about, I don’t think a child needs to be aware of weight loss or what parts of myself I don’t like. My potential children will only be surrounded by body positivity, any weird relative that tells them they have “tree-trunk legs” (shout out to a creepy relative of mine for saying that to a ten-year-old me, I still remember it ten years on) will be cut off, they will not be made to feel insecure about themselves. As long as my potential children are healthy then I will be perfectly happy with whatever size and shape they are.

Currently, I’m a UK size 12, I work out around three times a week and eat fairly healthily (granted I have eaten a lot of Easter eggs lately but it’s good to treat yourself) and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been with my body. Don’t get me wrong there’s definitely things I don’t love, I won’t list them here because that seems unhealthy somehow. Everyone has insecurities and that’s fine, what isn’t fine is letting them rule our lives. If I can leave this post with one piece of wisdom I’ve gained, it would be that our bodies are just a shell. I like to think of it like a car, it gets me from A to B, there might be parts of the car that aren’t perfect or look kinda weird, but it works. My body lets me run, and dance (badly), and sing (also badly), and have fun, and live my life. It doesn’t need to look like a supermodel to be perfectly imperfect. I can do whatever I want in this body and I love it.

The only way I can think to end this body positive rant is to share the adorable compliment my friend gave me during this conversation: “You’re beautiful. I love your body. And your face brings me so much joy, I’ve never met someone who has such a happy face”. How cute is that?